By Andre Ross-Gennette, Guest Contributor
By Martin Twother
*This is a piece of satire commenting on a recent editorial about Wheaton College written by Tim Schiederer, imitating the writing style of Martin Luther. The writer does not actually believe that Mr. Scheiderer is a worthless Pelagian, Pharisee, priest of Baal, slanderer, liar, servant of the devil or whatever other descriptors which may have been used.
In the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty-four, on the thirty-first day of January, a certain Mr. Scheiderer deigned to unleash upon a blissfully ignorant world a rambling, unfocused and at times even incoherent diatribe against an institution of Christian education, Wheaton College. Though the article condemns itself through its many inconsistencies, I have taken upon myself the foolish task of reproofing its arguments and writer so that the truth might be defended from its assailants.
Mr. Scheiderer’s accusations against the institution of Wheaton College are threefold: Banning biblical language such as “service” and “mankind,” teaching critical race theory and “psychologizing gender identity.” He unites these three accusations under the single heading of “wokeness,” claiming that Wheaton College, because of these alleged policies, is becoming “woke.” But what does “woke” mean? Mr. Scheiderer seems intent to leave it open to interpretation, as he never provides a definition in his article, despite making it the centerpiece of his accusations. The simple answer, unfortunately, is that it has no single definition. Like skilled magicians, Mr. Scheiderer and his contemporaries summon this lurid specter at will to horrify their audiences with what it might do or mean. But like a specter, it has no corporeality, no essence, no substance, much like Mr. Scheiderer’s writing.
Let us examine the first claim. Mr. Scheiderer claims that two words, “service” and “mankind” have been banned from use at Wheaton College. The first is plainly wrong, and Mr. Scheiderer would have seen that if he cared to do more research than making up fantastical stories to sell to unscrupulous publishers. In its Statement of Faith and Educational Purpose, Wheaton College affirms the following: “We believe that the Holy Spirit indwells and gives life to believers, enables them to understand the Scriptures, empowers them for godly living, and equips them for service and witness” (the italics are my own.) How can this word be banned if the college affirms that the Holy Spirit equips students for service in one of its own published statements? And concerning “mankind,” I can find no evidence of his claims anywhere. I advise Mr. Scheiderer to read again the words of 2 Corinthians 13:1: “Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” For without evidence, his accusations are slander, and as 1 Corinthians 6:10 teaches us, slanderers will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Regarding the second accusation, it has slightly more merit than its predecessor. A number of classes at Wheaton do teach students to critically examine race and how it affects society in America. But here definitions alone do us no good because Mr. Scheiderer has already demonstrated that he cares little for words with concrete meanings. Mr. Scheiderer writes in the realm of implications, not concrete ideas. What’s important is not so much what critical race theory (CRT) might be but what his readers and publisher imagine it to be: a hell-spawned lie employed by the Democrats with the intent of destroying all that is holy in America. With this implied definition, all his disjointed logic that CRT is the work of Marxists and segregationists makes sense, despite the obvious fallacies inherent in his assertions. Again, we see his true nature: a poisonous, worthless gossip hardly worth the time it takes to read his bilgewater of lies and half-truths. His poisonous writings appeal only to those people who Paul spoke of in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 who surround themselves with teachers saying only what they want to hear.
His final accusation is the most disjointed and nonsensical of them all. Psychologizing issues of gender identity? Do tell us, Mr. Scheiderer, when do such issues leave the realm of the psychological. Furthermore, he claims that a psychology professor helping students manage gender dysphoria is anti-biblical. Is the world not fallen? Do we not all sin? What, then, is so wrong about helping sinners overcome their sins? Is it not written, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ?” Is it so wrong that imperfect humans should struggle, yet find hope in the Lord’s faithfulness to them? Rightly did our Lord condemn your ilk in Matthew 23, assigning great burdens to those already downtrodden but refusing to lift a finger to aid them in the slightest!
While I have refuted Mr. Scheiderer’s words, I feel it necessary to examine the spirit in which his article was written. As we were all informed by President Ryken, he is a freelance writer who was attempting to sell his worthless chicken-scratch to the Wall Street Journal. When he failed in that, he turned to an institution of lesser scruples to earn his deceit-laden bread.
For the sake of your soul, Mr. Scheiderer, if not for the sake of anything else, I appeal to you to retract your article. While I am not so foolish as to suggest that this article, however ill-informed, could damn you, Christ does teach us that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak (Matthew 12:34). And in this speech I can see only deceit, malice, slandering and greed. Is it right for a Christian, such as yourself, who studied the words of our Lord at the Southern Seminary, to act in such a way? While I cannot answer this, Scripture can: “You must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices” (Col. 3:8-9). The choice is yours.
Andre-Ross Gennette is a sophomore from Michigan majoring in history and minoring in biblical and theological studies. He is a guest contributor to the Record.
The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the position of the Wheaton Record or Wheaton College.