We as young adults have all heard, perhaps countless times, the phrase “be yourself.” At this point we hear it and roll our eyes, thinking it to be cliché and overused. But how often do we find ourselves trying to fit a mold that excludes integral parts of who we are, just to “fit in”? Yes, I know, you’ve probably heard that expression innumerable times as well.
However, think about it in the context of being at Wheaton College, or any other Christian college for that matter. As a senior, I have witnessed this not only in myself but also with many of my friends and acquaintances. A stereotype has emerged at Wheaton of the “ideal Wheaton girl” or “ideal Wheaton boy.” The “ideal” Wheaton student has never had issues with substance abuse, has parents that have never considered divorce, has never ventured to pornography websites, would never utter a syllable of profanity, etc.
This is not a slap against those traits and circumstances – they are spiritually healthy and admirable goals for many of us. Parents that have stayed together are a blessing, as is the self control against the online sexual content and using obscene language. However, students believe they have to fit the role, the role of being “perfectly ideal,” in order to have good Christian friends and be accepted, and those that don’t feel estranged. We find ourselves (especially when we start at Wheaton) desperately trying to be ideal and find the ideal Wheaton friend, the ideal Wheaton girlfriend or boyfriend and so on.
As cringe-worthy as it sounds, how often have we even attempted to force ourselves to radiate being the “ideal Wheaton spouse”? However, this anomaly strikes much deeper as ideality at Wheaton makes something as simple and natural as “being yourself” a struggle for students, underclassmen and upperclassmen alike.
There is no such thing as the perfect and ideal Christian, yet we equate it to being an ideal Wheaton student. We are so saturated with the standards Wheaton glorifies that we forget we have always been ideal in our Creator’s eyes. To early church members, the twelve disciples that Jesus chose to follow him were anything but “ideal” — they were lowly fishermen, despicable tax collectors and a whole band of misfits that the church leaders wouldn’t have chosen if it were up to them. Yet these men were in every way ideal in Christ’s eyes. So why do we put ourselves in a box, trying extremely hard to impress others with how “good” of a Christian we are?
More seriously, why do we judge others for not fitting the stereotype? This is the reason why so many incoming freshmen and even upperclassmen struggle to find the friends that will accept them, through all changes and all disgraces. Though we constantly speak of idolatry as a sin, why does Wheaton idolize this stereotype? The facade of the “ideal” Christian is what causes division between students that could be friends that stick closer than brothers. As Christians, we are here in this world to live out our faith no matter our backgrounds and no matter our differences. We should not have deep and honest prayers with our Heavenly Father that we feel we cannot have with our Wheaton friends.
Ephesians 5:1 tells us to be imitators of Christ, exuding love and compassion for those around us. Yet, have you ever done something or have hidden something from your friends for fear of judgment? Christ listens when we talk to him about “Wheaton-prohibited” matters, because after all, we were all living different lives before coming to college, have come from vastly different backgrounds and have all had different experiences. He loves us in our darkest, our ugliest, our dirtiest and our most disgraceful state and is there to help us, not to judge or estrange. Being imitators of this means to love unconditionally and realize that none of us are anywhere near the sisyphean pinnacle of perfection.
Stereotypes arise wherever we go. They were present in middle school, high school, each and every church we’ve attended and will continue to be conceived throughout the course of our lives. The problem is not with the “Christian college” stereotype itself, but rather the judgment and unacceptance towards those that deviate from it. The problem continues when young adults feel they have to change the way that God made them in order to be seen as an “ideal” Christian. You will never lock eyes with someone who is less than ideal in our Creator’s eyes. To whoever reads this, this is your reminder that you can fearlessly be yourself no matter the stereotypes pushed by our environment, because you are ideal.
Isabel Burhart is a senior music major with electives in pre-health and a guest contributor to the Record.
The views expressed in this piece do not necessarily reflect the position of the Record or Wheaton College.
